FROM California: How are things in Minnesota?

Minnesotan: It’s pretty cold out, but it should get into positive territory later today.

FROM California: Great, I’m glad you’re feeling positive. Could get a bit nasty here with a bit of rain and it feels pretty cold too. We always hate it when it gets below 50.

Minnesotan: Yah, 50 below really sucks.

FROM California: Speaking of sucks, the news keeps saying how Democrats want Hillary as their candidate in the next election. Most Californians I know are changing their ABC policy from anything but chardonnay to anyone but Clinton.

Minnesotan: You drink Chardonnay?

FROM California: Only with some varieties of fish.

Minnesotan: Would it go with walleyes?

FROM California: Better than Hillary.

Minnesotan: I thought it was Monica that sucked!

FROM California: Anyway, no one I know here want’s another Clinton. How about there?

Minnesotan: No Hillary for us either. Who are these folks who really want her?

FROM California: Another urban myth.

Minnesotan: Yah, like good, cheap chardonnay.

This review comes from California.  A true blue Minnesotan would have no idea what these people are talking about.

Restaurant Review

Was lucky enough to get a table at Beold-Besotted, the famous new small plates restaurant that’s so hard to get into. Of course, we got the tasting menu, despite it’s high cost and added the supplement for beverages ($250) and the very rare snow leopard anus they were so fortunate in procuring and besides, what’s an extra $300 for something that so few ever get to dine on and is the perfect way to ring in the lunar new year.

The early insect courses had the whole table buzzing with excitement – no surprise since the sous chef spent his early years in a collective and has a unique insight into the hive mentality. The mead was such a sweet way to start. To blend it with water from Lake Meade was brilliant, it not only improved the alliteration, but also made the staff’s last junket to Las Vegas deductible.

The surgical training of head chef Sam (previously Samuel, Samantha, Slim Slim) showed in the surpassing quality of the resected liver and kidneys, so rarely presented together in such a natural way. The sommelier’s choice of a bile-dynamic wine to induce digestion had several gasping, but the cannabis tea was the perfect antidote.

The restaurant’s new take on high temperature sushi was less successful, but was required after the establishments prior run-ins with the food inspectors following the “incident”. Enough said about that. The bottle of Stoli showed both the food matching and the compassionate sides of our sommelier.

The pies of resistance indicated the enduring ability of the avant garde to bring force feeding to it’s dining room perfection. No mincing words about those pies!

I could go on and on, just like the dinner, but I’d like to jump right into those snow leopard anus’ of legend. Chef did not miss a beat, adhering to the strict need for the anus’s to be both slow smoked over the scat they themselves had produced and then simmered in melted mountain snow from higher elevations. The results were amazing. Truly astonishing with a vintage red (bring your own best bottle, their corkage is a reasonable $35 – per diner – as we found out later).

Given the restaurant’s no-tipping policy – actually 20% added automatically – it was so nice that the valet parking attendant’s actually “tip” each customer with a touching gift coupon to In-n-out burger, along with directions to their nearest location. Those small plate are, indeed, small. One of those wonderful touches that bring customers back again and again.

You really can’t call yourself a foodie, if you haven’t dined here.